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Why the chicken crossed the road and other Rabinical stories - BELOW
There had been three pre-release rumours doing the rounds about the Kingston report before its release, said Darren Sevitz, executive director of the UOS to the gathered Rabonim and Shul executives last Wednesday night.
“The first,” said Daren with a wry smile, “was that I [he himself] had received the original report and didn’t like it.” Darren told the Rabonim that the first he had heard of his rumoured tampering with the report was when the Rosh Beth Din, Dayan Kurtstag (pictured) summoned Darren into his office. He was with ‘Mr Kosher Chicken,’ Ami Bolnick, who had heard the rumour and come in to question it. It clearly all ended pleasantly as Dayan Kurtstag had a good laugh as Darren told the story.
The second rumour, Darren told the Rabonim, was that that very meeting had been called to ask the Rabonim and Shul executives to cover up to their congregations that the UOS had been badly portrayed in the Kingston Report. As Darren’s presentation showed, nothing could have been further from the truth.
“And the third rumour doing the rounds,” said Darren with just enough silence to make it sound all the more mysterious, “is that the retail butchers had bribed the two experts” to make themselves look better in the report!
Of course the independence and integrity of the Report’s senior investigator and author, Michael Kingston, is without doubt (see his CV below).
The funniest came from a Rabbi
But even funnier than Darren’s account of the rumour mill, was the comment of one of the Rabonim who was overheard poking another seated beside him in the ribs and asking:
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
The older Rabbi seated alongside shrugged, opened his hands, and replied with a long and rhetorical: “Nu?”
“To escape the Kingston Commission, of course!” came the punchline.
CURRICULUM VITAE – MICHAEL ANDREW KINGSTON
• Known in the Industry as “Mr Chicken”
• Business-Man of the Year – Orange Free State Province
• Poultry-Man of the Year
• Chairman South African Poultry Association
• Past Directorships
• Astral Foods Limited, Astral Operations Limited, Farmers Table (Pty) Limited, Kayfour Investments (Pty) Limited, Original Chicken Grill (Pty) Limited, Pine-Top Estate (Pty) Limited, Earlybird Farm (Pty) Limited, National Chick Limited, Ross Poultry Breeders (Pty) Limited, National Chick Swaziland (Pty) Limited
CAREER
1974 - 1986, (12 years) Rainbow Chicken Farms (Pty) Limited
• Started career in the company’s hatchery division managing all hatcheries in Kwa-Zulu Natal.(up to 1.5 million chicks /week)
• Promoted to Parent Breeding & Hatchery Manager relocating to Rainbow Chickens Worcester.
• Promoted to Production Divisional Manager relocating to Rainbow Chickens, Rustenburg, accountable for the total construction and management of the "grass roots" complex.
1986 - 1994, (9 years) - Country Bird (Pty) Limited
• Recruited to restore Company profitability after +- 8 years of losses.
• Executive General Manager accountable to the board for all aspects of the business including production, processing, marketing, engineering, administration, procurement and finance.
1994 – 1999, (5 years) - County Fair Foods (Tiger Brands)
• Recruited to restore County Fair Foods to profitability (Company lost +- R20 million annually in FYs 1992 and 1993)
• As Managing Director, accountable for the entire broiler and breeding businesses, incorporating the operating functions of production, processing, marketing, engineering, human resources and finance.
2000 - 2009 – Companies under control of Michael Kingston
• Ross Poultry Breeders
• Elite Breeders
• National Chicks
• County Fair Foods
• Earlybird Farms, Olifantsfontein
• Earlybird Farms, Further Processing
• As Managing Director of the Poultry Division of Astral Foods, responsible for seven companies with combined annual sales of +- $0.5 billion and an operating profit of +- $35 million with 4,000 employees.
• Sales volumes exceed 400,000 tons per annum, which is distributed nationally to both retailers and wholesalers.
• The capital expenditure spanning 2006 – 2008 exceed $50 million.
• As Managing Director, accountable for Production, Processing, Sales, Marketing Finance, Strategic Planning, Budgets, Engineering and Human Resources for the seven affiliated Companies in the Group.
• As Managing Director, Executive Director of the Holding and Operating Companies of Astral Foods Limited.
